Flagstaff, Cameron, Bitter Springs, Page.
Arizona is a big state and driving through it was harder than I thought. Kate and I had been enjoying ourselves as much as we could on this long trip. Karl wasn’t far away; I could sense his odor and I could smell that mangy mutt lover he’d found. The only thing keeping me from turning this jet car around and flying to Mexico with this redhead forever was the growing orb in my uterus.
Kate and I had been taking shifts driving and keeping the car under the speed limit. There was no need to draw the attention of authorities. Plus it gave me some time to think about my next move towards my growing desire for Kate. The moment we had in that shady motel was so wonderful. But then again, my uterus…
At some point between dusty rest stops on US highway 89, I felt a sharp pain come from in my belly. The pain came like three sharp stabs equally spaced apart, like someone tapping on a door.
“Ouch!” I blurted.
“What’s the matter?” Kate said turning her eyes from the road.
“My stomach. We’d better pull over. Something isn’t right”
Kate pulled the car off the highway at the next uninhabited exit. After a few miles of driving she found a dirt road, turned right then stopped. The front headlights went out and the front door was flung open.
“I’m coming around to help!” Kate yelled while shuffling around the front of the jet-car.
“It’s alright Kate. I was just startled out of sleep. I’m sure it’s nothing, really”, I said. I knew she would overreact to the situation.
“Honey, with you being pregnant and all, we need to stick together. Or at least, make sure your lady-parts are in order.” She opened the car door, letting a gust of wind blow hair across my face.
“You’re too kind”, I said. I had to admit to myself that I enjoyed getting the full treatment from her.
- - -
The next day I awoke in the back seat of the jet car. Kate was next to me and I had a burning sensation coming from my whisker biscuit. I looked into the front seat and there staring at me was a fully grown midget in an 18th century French military uniform. He had a three-pointed hat that sat atop his midget head, which was cocked slightly to the side.
What happened? Why was there a midget in my car? Why did I feel like I just dropped a seven-pound turd from my vagina? These were questions my older brother needed to know or he was going to surely be angered.
Kate was sleeping next to me with her head on my shoulder. Spittle had dripped from her lower lip into a pool between her milky white breasts. Seeing her in that helpless, dreamy state made my already burning crotch start to tingle. I hated to wake her from her beauty rest but I needed some answers. The midget in the front began to move.
“Whoa there little fellah. What’s your name?” I said in a semi-baby voice. He turned to Kate, then back to me, spying our position and working it through his plum sized brain. Kate began to stir as I asked another question.
“Would you be a sweetheart and hand me my phone? It’s right there”, I said as I pointed towards the dashboard.
The midget looked at my outstretched finger and followed it to my blackberry sitting on the dashboard. He leaned over to it and picked it up. Turning it over in tiny hands, he inspected its every surface.
“That’s it little guy. Now let’s have it”, I said as I stretched my arm out towards the devise.
His head whipped around to the hand in his face. The facial expressions he had were stunted by the lack of skin on his small skull. But in that instant, he went from curious to furious. Before I could retract my hand from the front seat, the midget had pulled a small sword from his waist and ran it through my palm.
“OH MY GOD!!!!” Kate screamed at the sight of blood. I turned to her horrified face and insisted that we exit the vehicle. I kicked out one of the windows and piled Kate and myself out before the midget could cause any harm to my loved one .
While standing on the dusty Arizona highway, I looked inside at my attacker. He began to pound upon the glass with every ounce of midget might. Kate wrapped her arms around me and held on for dear life.
As the blood from my impaled hand began to drip on the pavement, a swarm of blackness came over the bright summer sky. I looked up at what seemed to be a swarm of some kind. The swarm moved left and right high in the atmosphere. It moved closer with each left to right movement. The midget began to scream at birds fell like rain from above, swarming around our car. Thousands of beaks attacked the safety glass. The beating of so many wings began to blow dirt into my open wound. Then a crash of glass and the midget was air-lifted from the car. As he rose higher into the desert air he looked back upon us standing in the road.
Kate turned to me with weepy eyes then at my bleeding hand, sword still dangling from the wound. She began to cry and I began to wonder.
Did that midget just come from my vag?
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