After the last Metapost, Shriss Babler related her story to Karl about how she went from a peaceful Christlike Viking, journeying to Hell to complete Havockon, but instead being cursed to live a life as a transexual stripper. Karl, Shriss, and Abita decide to head to Pueblo, Colorado to hide out with her allies Captain Rage and Robert Strange. While these plans were made, Abita stumbles upon Sir Bill, a chupacabra held prisoner by Shriss in her basement. After Abita attempts to attack Shriss, the stripper puts everyone to sleep and hits the road with them in tow. Karl, Abita, and Sir Bill cause Shriss to miss her exit, and she gets pulled over by the police in Utah. After a tremendous laughing attack by Sir Bill, the cops recognize Abita as the long lost Queen of Mormonia, and they lead the group to the Grand Temple in Salt Lake City.
Meanwhile, Hoagie, Scott's frat brother, kidnaps Kate and attempts to torture her with gay porn, until Megan comes to the rescue. She and Kate go on the lam in search for Karl, stopping in seedy motels and exploring each other's body and sexuality. Hoagie discovers Scott, now a zombie lord, and together they embark on a path of revenge, seeking out Karl, Kate, Megan, and Abita, equipped with acidic semen and other sordid weaponry to enact vengeance upon the family. Kate and Megan nearly reach Las Vegas before Megan, pregnant with Napoleon's child, goes into labor by the side of the road. After the unnatural birth of a deformed midget child, a flock of evil birds comes and sweeps the group away into the desert sun.
On the other side of the country, Abito has caught up with Lola in New Orleans. After defeating Will and slaughtering a group of children in Miami, the robot dog cop is not keeping a low profile. As Lola and her sister Camille research a powerful love potion to be used on Karl, Abito is reassigned to a new case involving diamond smuggling. Abito follows the sinister assassin Agent N across the public transit system of New Orleans to a house party, hoping to catch up and eliminate the thug before the illicit deal commences. But just as Abito springs into action, he runs into Will, who is bent on taking Abito out once and for all.
Who will win in the epic battle of robot dog cop vs. space warlock? What sinister force has kidnapped Megan and Kate? When will Lola and Camille finish their black magic potions? Where will Scott and Hoagie turn up next? Why is Abita the Queen of Mormonia? How will it all turn out?
Tune in every day for the continuing saga of Everybody Loves Abita.
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