The Dinner Guest - Chapter 21 : Hoagie's History

Hoagie here and damn them lesbian bitches. It’s just like two women to leave a man for dead, while horny men fudge-pack each other on TV repeatedly. I’m gonna get those bitches and get them good, for Scotty.

After I came to, I got up off the floor, zipped up my pants, and looked around. In any other situation, I’d probably just raid the fridge for beers, but I needed Scott’s killer come hell or high water. I walked over to a desk and found an address book in the drawer. On the cover was scratched “My loved ones” in flowery print. I flipped to the number called “Megan’s cell phone” and dialed it on my Richard Petty themed cellular phone. I acted like I was Karl to fool the young minx, but it didn’t work. The bitch hung up on me. So I got in my truck and drove. I needed to think and feeling three hundred horses under my marbles sure helped.

Just as I kicked my rig into third gear I started to get a unusual feeling in my pants; all tingly like. The motion of my truck made the fuzzy feeling stronger and more intense. The faster I drove the more intense the feeling got; it raced up and down my homosexual genitals. It had to be Scott’s doin’. He’s the only person who could do that to me, alive or dead! I drove on, using the sensation like a homing device.

When the invisible stroking finally ceased I had ejaculated all over myself and my truck. I dug some old napkins from a McDonald’s bag and began to cleanup the mess. While wiping off the passengers seat, I looked up and found I was parked in front of a small home with a mail box reading “Karl, Abita, and Kate”. Oh Scott, your final resting place. You were leading me!

I jumped out of my truck and raced around to the backyard as if being pulled by my still-moist penis. The fountain in the middle of a flower garden grabbed my attention immediately. The water flowed red as blood and the grass surrounding the stone structure was wilted yellow. As I approached, Scott began to call to me, “Hoagie, bro, help me. Hoagie, please”. It continued to get louder as I came upon the earth beneath the flowing red water.

“Hoagie, baby. I need your help, bro. Release me from my earthen tomb so I may rise again!” Scott’s voice rattled through Hoagie’s mind.

“Tell me what to do? How do I release you?” I shouted at my lover’s voice.

“Hoagie, there is only one way you can release me from death and bring me from the grave” he began.

“Tell me! I’ll do anything!” I pleaded. There was a long pause and I began to sweat. The voice arose again.

“You must mix the living blood of this fountain and the seamen from the front of your pants, spread it over your bear nipples and sing the song Alfie. Then I can rise anew. the Zombie King!” he groaned in invisible pain.

I didn’t think twice and got right to mixing. The blood and semen mixed together making a smooth pink texture. I stripped naked, smearing the fluid over my nipples and now erect prick. There was only one sausage for my meat locker and he needed and blood/semen melody yesterday.

Moments after I started singing, the earth below me began to shake and shutter. The sky above me churned and I lost my balance, falling over into the blood fountain. A figure rose from the dirt, crawling to his feet and moaning. He was covered in a dark film of dirt and sticks. Bugs and tiny insects fell from his limbs and they straightened. As he turned to me, I checked out his crotch area to make sure that bitch dog didn’t damage my lover’s package. It seemed to be the same size but the blood ran into my eyes, blinding me momentarily. I kept singing and as he stood upright fully, an unseen choir joined in with harmonies over the chorus of my song

“Hoagie, my love. I knew you had the power to raise me. I have returned as a zombie king. I must search for a zombie queen to lift the curse bestowed on me by Satan” Scott said in a hallow tone. His voice was much different than I remembered it being. Darker, and filled with power.

“I had come to avenge your death my love, but the lesbian whores got away. Oh and btw, if you need a zombie queen, I could totally be one for you” I spoke. I was still sitting in two feet of blood looking up at him, when he moved closer.

“Fear not. I have changed and risen from the dead with superpowers!” he said, puffing up his chest and slapping his buttocks with one hand. “I now have the power of many undertakers” he said turning towards a small statue of the Virgin Mary in the corner of the garden. With a twitch of his rectum, a beam of fluid flew from Scott’s barbed boner and melted away the porcelain statue in a puff of green fog.

“Fuck me in the ass! Did that come from your boner?” I asked.

“I will, but later. And yes, it was my super power; I ejaculate acidic formaldehyde.”

“Cool beans” I said.

We vowed then and there to avenge Scott’s death then move to the Mexican coast. Scotty told me all about his spirit journey with Satan in the garden. We held hands, bathed in the fountain and took turns shaving each other’s grundles. After a few hours we retired inside the house and put on a DVD.