I'M NOT GAY

Dear World,


I just want to make it clear, I'm not gay. I thought marrying a chick would totally clear that up, but apparently not. Now I can just be painted in terms of someone in extreme denial who sneaks out to Tucson gay bars while pretending to work on bubble wrap sales. Yes, I've had initimate encounters with men before, but never sexual. And yes, John M. once gave me a hickey, but I wasn't asking for it.

But I ask you, if I was gay would I post a picture like this?

Or this?






I wouldn't be a very good closet homosexual if that were the case.